Jeannie Wraight

When it comes to relationships, some HIV positive people have a clear cut policy on the sero status of potential partners. Some will only be with another HIV positive person, some will only be with an HIV negative partner and for some it’s not even a part of the ‘should I get involved with this person’ decision. Of the four relationships I’ve had since the person I became positive from, only one was HIV positive. I’m one of the ‘it has no bearing on my decision’ people.

Non-the-less, being HIV positive with an HIV negative partner does come with some challenges. But what relationship doesn’t? For me, the positive partner, it’s rare that my HIV status is an issue in our life together, though there have been a few times. For my husband, he’s been amazing and has had few concerns with me being positive right from the beginning.

Take a moment and think back to when you tested positive for HIV.
What was your initial reaction? What went through your head? For most of us it was sheer panic. What now? Is usually one of the first questions that comes to mind.

If you’re not HIV positive think of a time where you were tested for HIV and sweated it out while waiting for the results. Some of us thought we’d kill ourselves rather than live with HIV/AIDS, believing this meant that our lives would now be over.

I am not a victim of HIV or AIDS. I am not someone to fear or pity. I am not beneath anyone, less of a person, or unworthy because I am HIV positive. I am a person living with HIV. I am me! Not the same person I was before I was diagnosed, I am better than I was. I am more than I was. I am more now than I probably ever would have been without HIV because the virus has made me, allowed me, facilitated me, to grow and evolve in ways I never would have been able to without it. I know this. I will not allow ANYONE to pity me, stigmatize me or try to make me feel less than who I am.  I do not give anyone that power over me. Because of this I say here, LOUD and CLEAR, for me as a person with HIV, personal stigma is irrelevant!

Most of us have heard about the 13 year old boy that was denied entrance to the Milton Hershey School because of his HIV status. The administrators of the school claim that he’s ‘a danger to the other students’. Whoa, that’s all we needed to hear. As people living with HIV/AIDS (PLWHA’s) we go buck wild when the word stigma is uttered. In this case rightfully so!

Every once in awhile, such as with this instance, someone does something so outrageous that we have to take a stand. ALL of us, not just activists and organizations. We cannot allow this to occur as the consequences are too far reaching and damaging not only for this one child but for all people living with HIV and AIDS.

Almost everyone with HIV has felt from time to time, or been made to feel, like a "pariah." We've all heard the word. Most of us know the feeling. As if other people need to be protected from us. We've heard people say "HIV is the new leprosy" or in our defense "HIV's not leprosy you know." How about the ad with the scorpion in bed as if we were poison?

Who hasn't been faced with stigma or rejection, or the fear of it when telling a new potential partner about our status? Or been in a relationship with a negative person and the worry of infecting them was overwhelming?